By: Steve Kelly
Catch me up. I've been out of commission, out of the loop, on the DL after eye surgery. What's happening? What's the buzz? What have I missed? How are the new-look Mariners?
Remember the old-look M's?
You're kidding. That bad? I thought they were going to be more together, more engaged, more focused.
Well, you know that eye you just had repaired? They've been about as focused as your eye before surgery. Same old lack of attention to detail. Same old lack of production with runners in scoring position.
Come on, man, now that you're seeing clearly again, you should turn on your TV and watch. Misery loves company.
I'll be watching. I promise. By the way, what's the new name of their television network?
It's called ROOT Sports.
Well judging from what you've told me about the Mariners, maybe it should be called Root Canal Sports.
I did take the bandages off the other night just in time to see Milton Bradley at the plate. What's that stuff in his ears?
He's wearing ear plugs to muffle the hecklers.
Can he hear anything?
Well, apparently he was able to hear plate umpire Dan Bellino call him out on strikes, when Milton was pinch-hitting with one out and the tying run on second in Wednesday's loss to Detroit.
But seriously, Milton's been one of their most productive hitters. Can't blame him for the 6-13 start.
Well, I'm guessing now that he's back at third base, where he feels most comfortable, Chone Figgins is back to being the old Chone Figgins.
Not exactly. He came into Thursday's game against Oakland hitting .176.
But certainly the Mariners are hitting more long balls, right? They finally have a legitimate designated hitter in Jack Cust.
Remember Casey Kotchman? Cust came into Thursday's game still homerless and hitting .194. He has struckout 22 times in his first 75 plate appearances. In fact, four of the Mariners' veterans — Cust, Figgins, Jack Wilson, Miguel Olivo — are hitting below .200.
Ugh!
What about the kids? How's the rookie Michael Pineda throwing? Probably struggling a little bit, huh? Control problems? Getting rocked the second time around the lineup?
Are you kidding me? He's been the feel-good story of April. Two wins. A 2.33 earned-run average. He's been electric. Throwing three pitches, including a 97 mph fastball.
The Mariners are promoting his starts as if he's the next Roy Halladay. He's been Felix II. In fact, he's been better than Felix Hernandez.
What's wrong with Felix Hernandez?
Same old story. No run support. Bad fielding behind him. I'm betting he feels like he has to throw a perfect game every time out. But don't worry about him. Just like last season, pitching's not the problem with this team.
So you're saying Hernandez and Pineda are going to be the reasons to return to Safeco Field this summer?
I'm saying I wouldn't be surprised if the Mariners aren't already commissioning about six different Pineda bobbleheads, with six different poses. Wait until the Royals come to town. There could be Pineda bobbleheads, T-shirts and glove giveaways every night.
But otherwise, you're telling me, the Mariners still are the Mariners.
Of course. I've been trying to tell you since February that they are building for 2013 and beyond. You go to games this season because you want to say you were there when first baseman Justin Smoak found his stroke.
And you were there when Pineda found his off-speed pitch. And when second baseman Dustin Ackley found his way from Tacoma to the big leagues and started spraying line drives all over Safeco.
So there's hope?
Look, all I'm saying is that going to a Mariners game never has been easier than it is in 2011. I've gotta take you to a game this weekend.
Who's in town?
Doesn't matter. Going to a game this season is trouble-free. It's great. Only about 12,000 people are there. There's no waiting at the concession stands. No lines to the restrooms.
You can easily sneak down to the box seats — and here's the best news — you're out of the parking lot and onto the freeway 10 minutes after the last out. The Mariners definitely have made this season more fan-friendly.
Well, I guess that's a start.
Source: seattletimes.com
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